06-22-2024, 03:07 AM
Many people want to deepen and develop their relationships. The simplest solution is to focus on the other person. Anecdotal evidence and science both support the idea that positive social interactions and relationships lead to the most happiness. Our brain biologically rewards us for sharing our thoughts, priorities, and ambitions with others, whether in the long or short term. Our brain also rewards us when we are unconditionally accepted as individuals without judgment.
Both of these beliefs are genetically encoded in everyone of us (to varied degrees) as a result of our old survival impulses (egocentrism) and our need to belong to groups or tribes. Combining these fundamental notions might be easy to understand but challenging to implement. Speak in terms of the other person's interests and priorities, then validate them, their choices, and their identity without passing judgment. Some people do this naturally; for the rest, you can train this skill until it becomes second nature. If you disagree, simply offer, "That's a fascinating / insightful/ thoughtful opinion…would you mind helping me understand how you came up with it?". Again, their brain will reward them at several levels for this.
Both of these beliefs are genetically encoded in everyone of us (to varied degrees) as a result of our old survival impulses (egocentrism) and our need to belong to groups or tribes. Combining these fundamental notions might be easy to understand but challenging to implement. Speak in terms of the other person's interests and priorities, then validate them, their choices, and their identity without passing judgment. Some people do this naturally; for the rest, you can train this skill until it becomes second nature. If you disagree, simply offer, "That's a fascinating / insightful/ thoughtful opinion…would you mind helping me understand how you came up with it?". Again, their brain will reward them at several levels for this.
